You get one shot at a first impression, and I’ve watched people completely blow it in the first three minutes. Not because they’re bad people or clueless—usually they’re just nervous and defaulting to behaviors that feel safe but come across totally wrong. The thing is, whether you’re reaching out to someone for the first time or meeting face-to-face, certain mistakes telegraph that you haven’t done this before, and not in a charming inexperienced way. More like a red-flag-waving way that makes people protective of their time and boundaries.
The Message That Screams Amateur Hour
Here’s what happens constantly: someone finds a profile they like and fires off a message that’s either a novel-length autobiography or literally just